"A penguin whines about the uncontrollable problems in his life."--

With Dress Your Family in Courduroy and Denim, David Sedaris returns to his deliriously twisted domain, hilarious childhood dramas infused with melancholy; the gulf of misunderstanding that exists between people of different nations or members of the same family; and the poignant divide between one's best hopes and most common deeds.

Edie is a well-intentioned force of nature who loves to help those around her, but in doing so she leaves a trail of damage wherever she goes.

"Hazel 'Hazy' Bloom uses her tomorrow power--her ability to see visions of things that happen one day in the future--to try to convince her parents she's ready for a pet iguana"--

George and Harold have really done it this time-- they've created a monster! She's faster, smarter, and more evil than anything the world has seen before--she's Wedgie Woman! With the help of her horrible robots and her horrendous hairdo, Wedgie Woman is on a mission to take over the world, and she'll give a whopping wedgie to anyone who stands in her way--including Captain Underpants.

Ella Mentry School's security guard proves overzealous in his pursuit of a peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich thief.

Improbable, ridiculous remedies accumulate when there is gum stuck in your hair.

Slim must complete Uncle Johnny's "little job"--Which has become more complicated than Slim signed up for--and race home in time to patch things up with Miss Viola, or their engagement may be over.

Nate's a big deal in his scout troop . . . until Artur-aka Mr. Perfect-joins. Now Nate's stuck in second place. And Artur means business. Will Nate take the grand prize? Or wipe out, big time?

Otto Waddle Junior High School is worse than ever. Tip and his geeky friends Mindy, Owen, and Xen have finally come into their superpowers--well, their mediocre powers--and now have a whole new cast of impersonators to take on. Their foursome is being challenged by a rival group of students who are pawns in Darth Susan's evil plot against them. If middle school has any chance of survival, Tip and his friends must take their unusual powers to a whole...